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Why are the tips of my thumb and forefinger on my right hand tinted red? Probably because I can’t stop eating these darn Flamin’ Hot Cheetos!!! This is my new guilty pleasure, but I can’t indulge too often for many reasons. Yes, Miss Patootie Pie, they do go really well with my tuna salad addiction! Thanks for the suggestion!!

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I wanted to write you a letter. I want you to know that I’m not in the game anymore, in fact, I haven’t been for some time. But, I am your biggest fan, your head cheerleader. I am, and always have been, at the sidelines cheering you on. If you look out once in a while you will see me rooting for you. I would someday like to be invited to be part of your team. Who knows, I could get invited onto another team instead. Even if that happens, I’m still cheering you on, cheering for your success. Whatever you do, it’s up to you, you’ve got the ball.

Sincerely,

Your Cheerleader

There are so many things that will inevitably happen to me and so very few others. It’s just how it happens.

Somehow this morning I got toothpaste in my eye. I wasn’t trying to brush my eye or anything. I don’t recommend toothpaste in the eye, it’s kind of tingly at first, then it’s kind of burny.

“This Friday is the end of quarter. Everything we get out by this Friday will count towards quarter end. So feel free to work as much overtime as you like, we need to get all of this product out,” said the group leader.

I looked at the mounding piles of work, and thought, “I will be living at work this week”.

Until further notice I will be dead tired and unwilling to blog.

“Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?”

“That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,” said the Cat.

“I don’t much care where——” said Alice.

“Then it doesn’t matter which way you go,” said the Cat.

“——so long as I get somewhere,” Alice added as an explanation.

“Oh, you’re sure to do that,” said the Cat, “if you only walk long enough.”

Alice felt that this could not be denied, so she tried another question. “What sort of people live about here?”

“In that direction,” the Cat said, waving its right paw round, “lives a Hatter: and in that direction,” waving the other paw, “lives a March Hare. Visit either you like: they’re both mad.”

“But I don’t want to go among mad people,” Alice remarked.

“Oh, you can’t help that,” said the Cat: “we’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad.”

“How do you know I’m mad?” said Alice.

“You must be,” said the Cat, “or you wouldn’t have come here.”

-Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland-

I’m glad I spent it with you.

This morning my friend called and said we were overdue for a visit. I told her maybe another time, she could tell I was in a gloomy mood and persisted. She brought designer coffees and treats. I told her I would make us a lunch/dinner. As I started to cook another friend called, and since I had 3 ears of corn, I said come on over. Strangely I had already taken out 3 green peppers to cook, it was meant to be. So I made corn on the cob and stuffed green peppers, yummy. I enjoyed the much needed company of my friends today.

If you’re my friend, I’ve probably told you a few times that you mean the world to me, but I must say it again. To my friends: I love you guys, I love how you are there if I need you, and I love each of you for the unique gifts you each have that enrich my life. May Allah bless you all.

(Random thought after my tear jerking one.)

Note to self: Standing on the swiveling chair for the desk to fix the curtain; not a good idea.

Not much time to blog this past week. I’ve been working alot of overtime. There just isn’t much to say. I feel robotic. I work, I eat, I sleep. I’m trying to patch up some things. InshaAllah we will see where it all goes. I just need to make it through a few more weeks. I need to figure out what I’m doing. For some odd reason I thought my lease was up one month later than it is. So I was surprised to get the lease renewal letter under my door this past week. They are raising rent $25. Should I stay or go? I have 10 more days, oops, 9 more days to decide. I have to give them 2 months notice and they give me less than 2 weeks to decide. Nice.

The past two weeks have been difficult for me. I feel as though this part won’t end, and won’t get better. But what’s a couple weeks? 14 days, 336 hours, or 20160 minutes. What’s that to a lifetime? Say I live to be 80; that’s 29200 days, 700800 hours, or 42048000 minutes.

Two weeks compared to a lifetime is only .048% of my life; not even one percent of my life. To make a comparison it’s like 40 seconds out of a 24 hour day. It’s just a moment.

And this moment will pass.

A million words flying through my mind. How in the world do I make them come out right? How can I possibly articulate what I want to say? The perfect sentences come together in my brain, but when it comes time to throw them into the world, it’s never the same. Communicating and resolving conflicts. Sometimes what’s intended won’t happen. Communication doesn’t only involve me, there is someone else there. Maybe they won’t have the same goal.

Words… trying to make amends with someone dear to me isn’t easy when they don’t want to talk to you. Communication through email is difficult and time consuming. A resolve may take longer. I pray for you dear friend, may Allah make everything easy for you and bless you.

Words… trying to make ease with a coworker that I find unbearable isn’t proving to be fruitful either. A one hour meeting with her yesterday was a kick to the forehead. There will never be any way to make a nice work atmosphere with her, never. Our group leader was there to mediate, I felt sorry for her. You can’t mediate when one of the people there doesn’t want to work on anything. I just keep praying that this other job works out. I know the hiring process takes a bit, but I’m being patient. InshaAllah it’s where I belong, because I can no longer work with that person. I just can’t.

Words, it’s amazing how they can impact you.

I’ve been pretty sick since Friday morning. The weekend was a bit difficult. Monday morning, yikes! My car wouldn’t start, here we go again. My old car which I haven’t sold yet (alhamdulilah), has windshield wipers that don’t work. They worked the last time I drove it, and now don’t. I had morning dew on the windshield and did my best to see so I could get to work. My dad and step-dad both told me it was the fuse. I changed the fuse, still no wiping action. Let’s hope it doesn’t rain on my commute to or from work this week. Oh yeah, Fancy the fish has passed on. Not the happy day I hoped for.

Today on break though, I sat next to the window drinking my water with my feet up. We have several bushes along our building right outside the windows. There are many birds that come into the bushes and even some that land on the minute window sill and peer in. I watched the birds today, and I marvelled at the amazing creatures they are. Alhamdulilah. I watched as they flew around and landed with precision. It was amazing. I never paid that much attention before. What an amazing creation. Allah is truly the greatest. I see birds every day, but never truly watched them. Life is amazing, it’s all around us. These days have been difficult, but I’m still here, I’m still a part of this amazing life.