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I have been a domestic diva lately. I cooked yesterday, and I cooked again today. Last night I also put up a curtain rod and hung up curtains. I used my new orange tool set to put up the curtain rod. That’s it, and now that I’ve written it down it doesn’t seem like much. It was enough to make me feel domestic though. So there.

Turkey (or Chicken) Chedder Rice Bake

You will need 2 cups of cooked rice, cooled off, so I cook that first.

Next melt 2Tbs butter or margarine in a pan on low.

Blend in 2Tbs flour and add chicken boullion cubes (my recipe asks for 2 but this was too salty for me so I added 1 and a half).

Gradually stir in 1 cup of milk.

Bring to a boil, then remove from heat.

Stir in 8oz of cubed turkey or chicken.

Now take your rice and press it into the bottom of an 8-inch non-stick baking dish. Spoon your chicken mixture over the rice. Sprinkle with 4 ounces of shredded chedder cheese (or any other cheese you might find interesting). I found this cheese by Sargento. Chedder & monterey jack with tomato and jalapeno peppers.

Bake at 350 degrees for 30 minutes. Oh so delicious!

I’m certain that there are more than 100 reasons why I love my co-worker Marzipan*. She is 58 years old, and the sweetest woman you will ever find. Just to see her face in the morning makes me smile.
Last week she grabbed my hands and said, “Do you have to go to the bathroom?” My reply was “No”. She told me that there was a flyer on the bathroom door and she thought we should go to this presentation together. My curiosity was bothering me so much that I had to go see what it was. It was something neither of us would ever go to. She’s funny.
She also said the sweetest thing to me last week. I often tell her that I have a mean side. She says she’s never seen it. Last week I asked her to help me do something nice for someone. She says to me, “See, you are one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met. There’s not a mean bone in your body.” I think the same would go for her, especially if she doesn’t see my evil side!
Marzipan* makes work a happy place to go to.

*Names have been changed to protect the innocent

Tomorrow I get to sleep in for one hour. Then I have to go to the doctor. I think I’d rather wake up an hour earlier and go to work.

I watched out the window at the amazing 13-year old boy jumping on the trampoline. Still quite immature for his age he wrestled with a large bear, doing body slams on it. I quietly watched for several minutes until he glanced over and noticed. He gave me a little wave and then did a back flip to show his skillz. When I look at him I want to believe this is him. He is sweet, naive, and innocent.

His myspace page tells me a different story. What he writes on there shows me that at school he acts beyond his age. He has somehow become different, but when did this change happen? How can he think the way he does? Where does he learn this stuff? I’m worried about him, my parents are too. I love that boy so much, and I pray for him.

That’s how I feel today, BLAH! I have no motivation to do anything. All I hear is the noise of the children outside, they are kind of loud. They like to play in the area right outside my window; open space and no trees. This morning I woke up to the sound of my upstairs neighbors and their thumps on the floor, it was around 6:30am. It doesn’t just happen once, it keeps going for 40 minutes. I think it’s the kids.

This weekend went by too fast. I had to help my parents with something. I went to my mom’s Friday and spent the night. My little brother spent some time with me (not much). He is giving my parents a hard time and it’s making me sad. I don’t even know what else to write. How boring.

That’s right, I decided to become de-caf. It’s not that I drink a lot of pop, I really don’t, and I only drink diet. I usually only drink it when I’m out. I have decided to eliminate caffeine from my system. I doubt I can totally do this because of trace amounts in things that I don’t know it’s in. I’m not a coffee drinker anyway, tea will be the one thing I will have to do in de-caf. Mostly water though, mostly water.

I’m trying to get rid of recent sleep disturbances. I haven’t slept normal in the last few weeks, it’s wearing me out. It happens when I get a little anxious sometimes. I just want to eliminate caffeine from the equasion to see if that helps. Here’s hoping for a good night’s sleep!

I have to say that work has been incredibly fun this week. My group leader actually put me on a line with someone normal. We’ve had so much fun! I laughed so hard today that my eyes teared up. As far as work goes, I try my best to stay positive. It would be so much easier if all my coworkers were like the one I’m with this week. Alhamdulilah, I’m so glad I got this week to have a good time, it makes work less like work.

About 7 years ago I was living with my mom and working near the Twin Cities. It was almost an hour drive one way. Keep in mind this was before my reversion to Islam. I used to think quite a bit on my drive home. Sometimes I would scare myself with the thought that I was no longer driving. Sometimes I thought that I might have died in a car accident, and my soul was acting as though nothing happened. I would wake up in the morning wondering if my family could see me. A couple times they didn’t really acknowledge me when I came upstairs. I thought I was dead, and I was really frightened. It’s strange what our minds can trick us into thinking.

It’s difficult to be an emotional person. I am too trusting a person. I try my best to be a good person and a good friend, but it’s a difficult thing. Every time I put myself out there someone seems to damage my trust and hurt me. It makes it so much harder to trust other people that might deserve it. I become too cautious, too inward drawn. Why do I have to be so sensitive? Why can’t I be on some middle ground where I can protect myself?

Would it be easier if I were just a cold, uncaring person?

This last year has been filled with many disappointments from people. New people I’ve just met and people I’ve known for years. Alhamdulilah, I’ve somehow remained positive (though less trusting). I know that this is only possible through Allah. Alhamdulilah, Allah is always with me.