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Have you ever been locked out of your apartment building by your spouse 3 days after you had surgery on your toes, when you had to wear sandals, it was difficult to walk, and it was freezing cold December weather?
Have you ever been beaten with a belt by your spouse and have him tell you that he will beat you to death?
Have you ever had your spouse tell you how worthless you are? Has he ever told you that nobody will ever love you? Has he ever told you that nobody will ever want you? Has he ever told you that you are disgusting and horrible? Has he ever told you all these things and then tell you that you need to stay with him because he loves you so much.
I often wonder how someone that abused me, didn’t work, and didn’t do anything for me could make me feel like such a piece of crap. I know that I have self worth, I know I’m a good person, and I know I deserve better than that. Love is not abuse.
That’s why I refuse to accept anything less than a man who doesn’t love me and treat me as I will treat him. Why would I wait for someone who doesn’t know what they want from life? Why would I wait for someone who says they love me, but life isn’t going as they planned?
Whether life is going as planned or not; I believe when you find someone truly special you will do what it takes to be with them. If a man doesn’t want to do what it takes to be with me, then he isn’t worth MY time. He isn’t worth the sadness and anxiety I might feel. I deserve to be loved, and inshaAllah I will find it.
I went to the Science Museum yesterday with a friend, her husband, and her brother-in-law. Exhibits, 3-D theater, Omnitheater, and the Body Worlds exhibit. I had wanted to go to the Body Worlds exhibit for some time. It is amazing and I highly recommend it for adults and older children. If you get queasy, it may not be for you.
Point in case, I almost passed out there. I determined that it was not only from thinking that these are real human specimens, but a few other factors as well. It is a bit crowded despite the fact that they try to regulate the traffic in there. It was pretty warm in there, and I don’t think I drank enough water yesterday. I think I was a bit dehydrated, and when it’s warm and you wear a scarf on your head… Well you figure it out.
It was a twinge embarassing though. My friend’s phone had just rung, and she was a few feet away talking. I got really dizzy and just stopped and stared. Unfortunately there was a woman in my direct path of staring. She looked at me like, “Lady why are you staring at me like that?” I mumbled, “I think I’m going to pass out.” The only thing I could think to do was to get to the ground. I slowly crouched down. I sure as heck didn’t want to fall over in that crowd. The next thing I knew my friend was there kind of freaking out, and an employee there too. We just sat for a bit, how embarassing.
By midgets!!!!!!!
Okay so they weren’t really midgets, but kind of, and they did try to attack me. It’s odd that at 5 feet 5 inches I am a fairly tall person in my work area. I often feel like the Jolly Green Giant in a sea of Sprouts. Some of the women I work with are at least 6 inches shorter than me. Two of these women decided to gang up on me and try to tickle me. Yes, we get a little rowdy at work sometimes. (I know you are wondering if I act like this with the guys I work with: The answer is “NO” I know how to act as a muslim woman around the guys).
I just like to say…
I was attacked by midgets at work.
Gotta love the mom. She raised me, she took care of me, and she is still there when I need her. She doesn’t listen very well though.
She uses dial-up and I have a broadband connection. I gave her a screen name on my AOL account. I really only keep my AOL because of her. It’s user friendly and she knows how to use it for the most part. Another system would probably mess her up. She’s not very computer savvy.
I pay a smaller amount for AOL to have only 10 hours of dial-up time per month. She let my little brother play games online. He used up all 10 hours in one week, I in turn got a notification. I called my mom yesterday and told her that her time was up and they would start charging me for additional time. There is no more time until the mid of August. Pretty clear, right?
Apparently not clear enough for my mom. I got a voicemail today asking if there were any minutes left on AOL because she needed to go online. Have you ever felt like smacking your head against the wall so hard so you would pass out and not have to deal with something?
*Note: I pay for the AOL, I have never asked my mom for money to pay for this. She never went over the 10 hour limit by herself. It’s time for her to move out and get her own internet connection.
Well if you recall, I had my wisdom tooth taken out nearly 3 weeks ago. I’ve had many problems from this. The whole dry socket thing of course and I’ve had trouble chewing on that side of my mouth. I haven’t been able to eat anything too crunchy because it hurt my jaw. I never thought I’d say this, but I miss vegetables. I never used to be a veggie person, but I’ve been trying to eat better. So I had been buying vegetables regularly and eating them. I miss their crunchy goodness.
I have been chugging V8 to feel like I’m getting some veggies, but it’s not the same. Tonight I went to the grocery store. I bought veggies, and I will eat them even if it hurts.
I have been searching for the perfect shampoo and conditioner. I fell in love with a set from Avon; the Naturals Poppy Flower and Almond Milk. It smells so awesome, I could smell it through my hijab (my head scarf for those who don’t know). People would ask what perfume I was wearing; it just smelled so good, and my hair felt so nice. An excellent shampoo for my color-treated hair. It was excellent until I wanted to order more and it was gone. Without warning it was no longer a part of the Avon line! Luckily I found a stash with an ebay seller.
The problem is that few bottles I bought will not last forever. Before I found them I decided to try something from Bath and Body Works. Botanical Nutrients Wheat Bran Patchouli shampoo and Wheat Germ Almond conditioner. Smells awesome. Makes my hair feel a little weird, but it also makes it feel thicker. I went to get some more. Guess what? They’re discontinuing it! What in the?!!!
Okay so they didn’t have that stuff any longer but they were coming out with their own line of shampoo and conditioner. These feature some of the original scents they have, including Coconut Lime Verbena!!!!!
I got some of the sample size for this. It’s awesome! I love it! Now I’m just waiting to hear that they’ll discontinue it.
I rarely eat popcorn.
It’s not that I don’t like popcorn, but I really have to be in the mood for it. Yesterday I was in the mood for it. It was the only time I left the house all weekend. I went to the store to pick up some things that were on my list. The main thing that got my lazy butt out of the house was the thought of popcorn though. I wasn’t too keen on driving anywhere in the 100 degree heat. I did drive to the store with the thought of popcorn on my brain.
I returned home with my stuff and my popcorn. I popped a bag of popcorn and settled on the couch to watch a movie. I ate about half the bag before the novelty wore off. I was done with the popcorn for a couple of months, or was I? I spent the rest of the movie trying to hack up one of those hull thingys from the popcorn. It had lodged itself in my throat right at the back of my tongue. (At least it didn’t get stuck in the area where I had my tooth extracted… OUCH!) I couldn’t dislodge the stupid thing.
It was there all night and half of my day at work. Finally on break I was able to get rid of it. Popcorn doesn’t seem like such a good idea anymore.
Actually a lazy weekend all around. I didn’t do much of anything. Why would I? It’s 100 degree heat and I have no A/C in the car. I stayed in my apartment all weekend. It felt good in a way. Alone, not running all over the place. I have IM service with my friends and this blog, what else do I need? Oh, I have the TV and my phone. I wasn’t cut off from humanity.
There is a down side to my laziness though, and that is the state of cleanliness in my apartment. It’s atrocious in here. Anybody who knows me would probably say it isn’t that bad. However, for me, it’s pretty messy. The thought that crossed my mind was, “I hope I don’t die today; I wouldn’t want anyone to see my apartment like this.”
Here’s my personality type by what I order at Starbucks!
The Oracle of Starbucks
Behold the Oracle’s wisdom:
Personality type: Pseudo-intellectual
You’re liberal and consider yourself to be laid back and open minded. Everyone else just thinks you’re clueless. Your friends hate you because you always email them virus warnings and chain letters “just in case it’s true.” All people who drink venti chai tea latte are potheads.
Also drinks: Sparkling water Can also be found at: Designer grocery stores
The most humorous part is that doesn’t describe me at all. I guess you can’t judge a cup by it’s contents. I’m muslim now, but I’m not even a former pothead!
The truth of the matter is I had planned on working today anyway. I know we are busy, and I can always use the overtime on my paycheck. However, it doesn’t hurt to let my co-workers bribe me to come in. After all, I do have to be there at 6am on a Friday when I am used to a 10:30am start time the rest of the week. It may not seem like much, but when you’re used to going to bed at 1am, getting up at 4:30am is stinky!
So I let one of my coworkers bribe me. They were talking about cake a couple of days ago. I have been watching what I eat and taking very good care of myself, but cake sounded so good. A treat every now and again is a good thing, especially if they bribe you with it.
So here’s to having my cake and eating it too!
Miss A's Blog 